This Is What It's Come To
So today is Friday. Not Sunday, or Tuesday, or anything that super cool. It's the first day of Coachella. I'm watching the live-stream right now, and I have to say, I do wish I were there. Stars are doing amazing, I'm watching Johnny Marr next, then Alt-J and Metric, so this is a pretty exciting evening for me. That's not what I want to talk about, though.
I owe you all (My non-existent readers) an explanation. Basically, there are certain periods of your life where you take a huge developmental step, a step towards figuring out who you are. As someone who is not an adult, my brain hasn't finished developing, and so I change a lot. I change my mind, I change my personality, I change my taste, and it’s exhausting. All these little changes are sort of incomparable to the big ones, and that's what has been going on recently. A big, big mental change. And big, big mental changes often cause you to drop the ball on some things while you take the time to figure out all your shit. So that's what this blog is mostly going to be about, basically just updates and stuff like that.
So, as some of you may know if you're friends with me, me and SSH just took a trip to Florida for spring break. It was great, and I had a great time. We didn't really do anything, and that was what was so great about it. We stayed in Captiva and our condo was on this huge resort type thing. It was within walking distance of The Bubble Room and it had a lot of pools, and was close to the ocean, so we did spend time swimming. Honestly, though, all we really did was eat junk and watch crappy TV in our room. Ahhh, being an unmotivated teenager. It was really a lot of fun.
So then I came home and I was feeling pretty lost, honestly. Something had shifted while I was in Florida, and maybe it was the fact that I had had a lot of time to think about things. I continued to think about things for a while, and then decided to do something. So at this point I have cut off most of my hair and dyed it red, so that's exciting. I also threw out most of my clothes and it's been kind of stressful getting re-stocked with things I will actually wear. I'm redecorating my room, which is also very stressful and a lot of work. It's very hard to find cheap pillows and cheap artwork, but it was easy to repaint my bedside table. My walls are turquoise, and most of the accents in my room are pink, black, or white. So I kind of wanted to through everything of. I took out all the pink and replaced it with other, bright colors and I am painting my bedside table bright, bright yellow, I believe. So that's exciting.
I've also been giving a lot of thought to the future, which is something I don’t really do very often. From the time I was eight all I ever wanted to be was a writer who lived in England, and that’s still definitely an option on the table, but I’m rethinking everything and I’ve realized that I am not the same person I was when I was eight, and it’s not even fair to compare the two. I don’t even particularly enjoy writing anymore. Everyone has been telling me I’m such a talented writer, but talent doesn’t necessarily add up to enjoyment. I think I’ve trapped myself in that box for so, so many years that I’ve basically drained it from myself. I haven’t let myself even consider other options; even though there are things I would enjoy doing much more.
Since music is such a huge, huge part of my life and I cannot even express how much it means to me, I started to think about what kind of career I might want in the music industry. I’ve never been particularly fond of playing instruments or singing, although I’m perfectly good at that. I’m very interested in the technological side of music, so I’m taking some makeshift classes in mixing music. I’m really enjoying at and who knows, I might end up doing for a living. I’m also taking photography classes because I love cameras and I have always loved photography. I have an almost OCD obsession with detail and aesthetics, so I have always loved having a picture in my mind and then seeing it come to life. I’m also taking some web-design classes, so hopefully the blog will be cooler in the near future!
I know this hasn’t been the most interesting blog ever, but I felt like it was important to just let you know what I’ve been doing and why I haven’t been posting, but I will be back to posting now that I’ve really got myself figured out again. More or less. Less. We’re getting there, remember?